My name is Catherine, and I am a rehabilitating compulsive addicted gambler. Though it has been several years since I was began the process of quitting gambling, I can vividly remember the travails I encountered throughout addiction period.
I lost my loved ones, my jobs, my honour, everything except my marriage; It took up my finances, and I almost killed myself. Also, I wasn't aware I had psychological and psychiatric problems until some years later.
I crawled my way from the darkness, depression, and emptiness.
I woke up in the hospital with swathes wrapped all around my wrists and could hear two people discussing knives all over the living room as I lost consciousness again. All I could recall was everything seemed dark and I faded myself away to emptiness. Now I realize I was experiencing mind and body failure. A psychological/emotional pass out. From that point I went to a compulsion/mental emergency focus.
I was on suicide view the first few days. After a little while, I got help from the psychiatrist there. And of course, since I was also a compulsive gambler, I needed extra treatment. For my gambling addiction, I got help from an addictions counsellor.
Before that, I tried to cure my gambling addiction on my own because I felt like I could hold myself, but it did not work, I got back to gambling several times, even when I was in the treatment centre. I suppose I had not arrived underneath still.
Even after a 20 day stay in a crisis base and suicide trial!
It is called ADDICTION. It is an illness and a problem that is hard but possible to get over. And this wasn't the final moment I would work this circuit.
Not because the compulsive gambling, I committed suicide again in 2006 for being unable to cope with the pressure of financial issues. It felt like I haven't completely recover my life including my financial condition.
First lesson: Have a stable recovery plans. In 2006 I thought I could have a normal life without pills and treatment for my mental illness. So, I discontinued using them believing it was only the betting that was causing my mental sickness issues of PTSD, manic depression, mild mania verbosity and bipolar sleeplessness cycles and OCD. All in all, inside two weeks of no meds? I had returned to serious misery and self-destructive. The way I handled it by taking the pills at once dragged me back to the dark side of emptiness again.
I got back to the hospital again, with 16 days in the crisis centre and being watched for suicide attempts.
When dismissed this time, I had found out the difficult way that I require to take meds to keep my mental/emotional health and welfare as they refer this being "dually diagnosed or dual diagnosis."
Recovery with even bad experiences, coupled with some "faith" can reveal many life lessons in recovery to us. If we are not digesting them, we won't see our development. Issues outside your addiction problem can still surface and having that prepped up mentality would be essential.
To overcome an addiction in earnest, we need to break every manner acquired during the addictive phase Balance is very important in your recovery pathway also. Taking in the aptitudes and instruments in treatment and treatment to break the cycle of enslavement and clear a way to dissipate control, foreswearing, reasons, and that's just the beginning.
Second, come to acknowledge that recuperation is a deep rooted prepare. This step is also very essential and requires complete submission.
Third, an essential 'Relapse Prevention Plan' in a tactical and strict form, to stay recovered for a long time and avoid starting the process all the way from the beginning. We all believe that life occurrences take place. These occurrences are not just catastrophic, but there are also joyful activities.
I feel it is the reason Gamblers Anonymous put the question forward in our combo book of "The 20 Questions" to know if you have an issue with betting. It is why they place #19.) "Did you ever have an encouragement to jubilee any great luck by some hours of gambling?" YES! For me, notwithstanding when things great happened, I would need to celebrate by going as far as anyone knows to have some "enjoyment" by betting. Be that as it may, my habit was so terrible I required anything I could seize to recuperate, not simply Gamblers Anonymous.
I shared this gambling dependence with people that has common addicts to get support and to convince myself that this sickness is subtly dangerous and scheming. And GA made me know how necessary it is to be available for others through recovery service as others were there for me when I was a newcomer.
People need to start opening their minds and be reminded about this subtle addiction. Let's destroy the "myths" concerning it. It is one way to pull down the "stigma" around it, and around those who live dual diagnosed also. Yes, mental/emotional sickness in recovery can be a difficult task, but I think by telling people some of my experiences, vigour, and expectation, and sharing some of my stories can be an example that recovery is achievable, and we can live joyful, sound, and productive lives in recovery!